3 Reasons You're Not Achieving Your Goals - Succeed In 2019!
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"When climbing the ladder of success, make sure it's leaning against the right building."
Who said this?
More on that in a moment.
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So who said the above quote?
I don't know. I tried looking it up and it turns out it's been in the public since 1915 and has been attributed to Stephen Covey as well as Carl Jung, but it turns out it's not likely either are the origin.
What's more important is the wisdom in the quote. Hold it as you continue to read. Allow your understanding of how you will succeed to grow.
1) You're not aligned with your goal(s).
Most people interpret this as inner resistance, self-sabotage, or fear of success (which is just a self-help gimmick). You don't really fear success.
Aligning with your goals really means your values are aligned with your goals and you're congruent about what you want.
If you experience resistance when thinking about your goals or when attempting to work on them, this is actually your inner wisdom trying to deliver a message. Treat it this way rather than trying to get rid of it or suppress it.
It's just another part of you, that's unconscious, trying to fulfill another value that seems to be in conflict with your goal.
In other words, by achieving your goal another part of you will go unfulfilled.
An example of this for me was with my first business. The business did not fulfill any of my values except for one and I believed that if I could just fulfill that one value everything would be fine.
It wasn't.
I didn't trust my inner wisdom and I tripled down on the effort I put into the business. The result was I ended up being so miserable that I fell into a depression and had to go to therapy to sort it out.
One may argue that I was successful in spite of this because I made the business work and it succeeded financially. However, at the expense of my happiness and well-being not only was it not worth it, it wasn't what I consider true success.
My inner wisdom knew that had I been enormously successful at a business that did not fulfill me and had I achieved all of my financial goals with the business I might have gotten complacent and never pursued my true values and become even more financially successful and happy.
If you feel inner resistance when pursuing your goals, welcome it as wisdom, as an important message your unconscious is delivering to you. Ask it what it wants you to know. Bring it into consciousness and integrate it into your goals and your vision and you will succeed.
2) You don't have a greater vision for your goal(s).
If you take anything from this article, know that the achievement of goals alone will not make you happy and fulfilled.
However, achieving goals as part of the creation of a larger vision for your life will.
If you don't have a greater vision that achieving your goals serve, it will be too easy for you to quit and go find something that gives you more immediate gratification like watching TV or binging on the internet.
When you're aligned with your goals and you're connected with a greater vision that achieving those goals will help you create, the work to get there is enjoyable. In fact, the achievement of the goal becomes just a part of a bigger and very satisfying process.
If you aren't connected to a vision or it's not a compelling vision, you will find distractions and excuses not to work toward your goals.
How do you create a vision?
For every goal you have, ask yourself what achieving that goal will do for you. What is important to you about achieving the goal?
Go deep with this. The deeper you go the more connected you will be to your values, which will project a vision for your life that is so compelling you will enjoy working toward your goals.
3) You're focused on being right.
We normally think of this when we think about relationships. People will even say things like "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?"
This is about something different but it's still the same mechanism that creates it; your ego.
There's nothing wrong or even problematic about having an ego because everyone has one and you're going to have one no matter what you do. It's just a fact of life.
However, when you pursue your goals from your ego it will create problems, too many to go into here.
The one I want to focus on is strategy, more specifically being right about the strategy you've chosen.
If you're too focused on the "right" strategy to achieve your goals or being right about the strategy you've chosen, you will load too much emotion and identification into something that is likely to fail. When it does, the result is you will be so absolutely crushed that you will be unlikely to continue pursuing your goals.
Instead understand that strategies are disposable and that it usually takes testing several strategies before you find one that works. And that strategy may not work forever. In fact, it probably won't and you will have to change the strategy at some point.
For example if you're walking toward your destination walking is your strategy. You might find a bike, which is a better strategy, but then later you might encounter a bed of water, which now requires a different strategy, a boat.
When you are connected to your vision and you're aligned with your goals, you will see that strategies are just a part of the process of succeeding and that getting attached to them will likely lead to failing.
Instead of trying to be right, be flexible and adaptable to change and be willing to try many strategies without getting attached to any of them. Focus on what works.
Look out for these things as you set goals for 2019 especially if you want to make next year better than the year we're wrapping up.
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Damon Cart
NLP Coach and Trainer
Santa Cruz, CA
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
