CHARISMA by Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Jan 16, 2016
Tags
General tips
Content
Author
Charisma often comes up in NLP trainings for trainers. Some NLP Trainer Trainings are even called Charisma Training. Who doesn't want to be more charismatic especially if you desire speaking in front of large groups of people?
But what the hell is charisma and how do you get more of it?
Who do you think of when you think of someone with charisma? Just off the top of my head I think of Anthony Robbins, Howard Stern, Richard Bandler, and Bill Clinton. What I like about this list is that these four people who, whether you like them or not, most would agree are charismatic and yet they are very different from each other. In other words, charisma is not a particular personality type.
It's easy to attribute Tony Robbins' contagious enthusiasm and infectious energy as aspects of his charisma for example. However, the other three personalities mentioned above aren't known for their enthusiasm or energy. I'm sure these qualities are very much a part of who they are, but it's not an attribute of their charisma.
Charisma is not going to be found in the personality traits of charismatic individuals. It's not possessing the ability to say the right thing at all the right times or being able to make people laugh frequently with your wit. Charisma is also not about being popular or making many people like you, though this is a common side effect of having charisma.
However, it's often the case that the stronger your charisma and the more people like you, especially to the point of devotion, the more people will also dislike you. Jesus comes to mind as an ancient example. Donald Trump comes to mind as a more recent example. Charisma is about the only thing those two have in common.
Originally, in my own quest to build charisma, modeling the personality traits of charismatic people and trying to cultivate likability was the approach I took and it didn't work.
Having the audacity to speak your truth and express yourself honestly and effectively in spite of and especially in the face of judgment and ridicule from others is how I define charisma. When you can accept yourself over the acceptance of others and express that, you will likely encounter judgment and ridicule but you will also almost certainly inspire devotion in others.
Just as much though, as the charismatic person won't allow others' negative opinions to stop them, they also do not overly concern themselves with catering to those who follow them. It's not that they're completely unconcerned about negative opinions and unconcerned about not disappointing their followers; rather they are clear about their mission and their message and won't let negative or even positive feedback get in their way.
If you want to be charismatic, prepare to be challenged. Prepare to get comfortable with discomfort. If you're going through life protecting the imagination of your self (also known as the ego), you're never going to be charismatic. But if you're willing to put yourself out there honestly and not take yourself too serious and allow your ego to be destroyed you will forge another one in the fires of truth, accuracy, and self-acceptance. In other words, having an ego is inescapable, so you might as well have a durable, powerful, and charismatic one. The rewards will be greater than all the safety and protection you could possibly seduce your brain into believing by not living and expressing your truth.
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
