Creating Opportunity & Overcoming Heartbreak
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Jan 16, 2017
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General tips
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Do you rely on luck too much? Any reliance on luck is relying on luck too much. Bruce Lee is someone I admire for the excellence he achieved and someone I model. He once said "To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities." If you're waiting around for the right time, waiting around for something to fall out of the sky and give you permission to take charge of your life, you're going to wait forever. Get started! How do you make your circumstances work for you? How do you make opportunities? Get really clear about what you want and then get clear about the value it will fulfill once you have it. Your values are the light that will guide the way to getting what you want. "What if I don't know what I want?" You might ask. Take action. So often we have ideas about what we want. We think we know what we want, but we're not sure so we wait. We wait to figure it out in our head first. But it doesn't work that way. Figuring it out is a combination of trying things, taking action in other words, and then assessing whether it's what you want or not. You will not figure it all out in your head. You have to do something. You have to act. You have to try things. What's motivating you right now? What do you want this moment? Even if it seems small or trivial, go for it. Get
momentum. Get what you want. Give it a try!
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We've all experienced it and you will experience it again. Sometimes it's not just a lover who breaks our heart. Sometimes life breaks your heart. For this blog though I'll stick to overcoming a break up with a partner though everything here can be applied to other types of heartbreaks. When we feel something it can seem like the feeling is "right" though the situation might not be going the way you want it to. You fall prey to right and wrong thinking where what you're feeling is right and what's happening outside of you is wrong. Though important, feelings don't give you much good information about what's going on around you. Ignoring feelings and pushing them away, however, is a sure way to create a lot of trouble for yourself later. So what is one to do? The first thing to do is accept the situation. As much as it feels wrong for that person to leave you, your non-acceptance of the situation creates the feeling of suffering. Now notice when you think about the person, how do you know when you're thinking about them? Do you see their face? Do your hear their voice? Both? Where in your personal space is this happening? Do you imagine them standing or sitting across from you? Do you see a movie of them and you? Or do you see a still picture? If you're hearing their voice, from which direction is their voice coming from? If you're not familiar with NLP it can be a bit unusual to realize your thoughts occur as sensory information and they occur in your personal space. Chances are if you're heartbroken this person appears in your thoughts in a very realistic way and probably very close to you. Their image is probably quite bright and the colors quite rich. If you're hearing their voice it's probably at a pleasant volume and very resonate and close. Try putting a picture frame around the person and notice if that changes how you feel. If they were moving, turn them into a still picture keeping the frame around them. Now make the picture black and white and push it back by about ten feet. If you're more auditory make the voice a whisper and move it ten feet away. If the voice was coming from in front of you, put it behind you. How do you feel about this person now? There may be a part of you that doesn't want this. You may feel resistance to making these changes. This is called ecology. Do you really want this change? Ask that part of you that's resisting what it wants for you in a positive way? It probably feels like it's losing your lover and it doesn't want to lose them. That's what it doesn't want. What does it want for you instead? Let's say it wants love for you. Assure it that by making these changes you're not actually causing this person to go away. They have a mind of their own and they will do what they want and if they decide to come back into your life all of these changes are reversible. But for now, you need to move your experience of this person to the side so you can go on with your life and find love with someone else. Now future pace this. Imagine what tomorrow will be like with the changes you've made. You haven't gotten rid of anything. You just made your experience of this person less intrusive in your life. They're still there if you ever want them again. What will it be like in a month from now since you've made these changes? How will you be acting, walking, talking, living, etc.? What will you be like in six months from now after having made these changes?
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
