How To Overcome Fear Of Failure
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Ever try to talk yourself out of being afraid to do something you really wanted to do?
Did it work?
Probably not.
You know as well as I do that fear is an emotion and though it's a great alarm system that alerts you to things that could threaten harm, most of the time it's irrational.
But no matter how much you pound fear with rational arguments it persists like a honey badger.
Fear is the single biggest factor that limits your potential.
It can limit how much money you make. It can prevent you from picking the best life partner for yourself. And it most definitely can limit how happy and fulfilling your life is.
So would you like to pull the plug on fear and still receive alerts about valid threats so you can address them?
Of course you do and if you don't, stop reading this right now and go find something to worry about.
Just to let you know, what you will learn here is just a sliver of what you will learn in my life changing online course Transforming Your Self. Enrollment closes this Saturday so make sure you get in by then.
If you're new to this and you would like to learn more about it, attend the free webinar, which is only available today and tomorrow.
Let's talk about the origin of fear. It's good to have an understanding of why you have fears in the first place so you can make peace with them.
You are the descendent of ancestors who experienced fear, which is how they were able to survive and ensure their offspring, which eventually led to your birth.
Those prehistoric humans who didn't experience fear or who experienced little fear got attacked and eaten by wild animals or attacked by other early humans.
It was those who got scared any time they sensed something was out of place and got out of situations like that who survived.
You're now carrying that evolution inside of you.
But we're living in such different times, times that progress so rapidly our evolution can't keep up so most of our fears are unfounded.
This is the safest time in history to be alive and since we're not living in medieval times we have access to upward mobility; the ability to better our circumstances, improve ourselves, educate ourselves, get healthy, raise our status, and pull ourselves up out of poverty.
And if we ever fall down and fail, our lives, unlike our ancestors, are full of second chances.
But the truth is few of us ever take advantage of how great these times are because so many people are still crippled by their fear.
Now that you understand that, how do we pull the plug on fear?
I recommend that you watch the video above where I go into greater detail about how to do this, but I'm still going to give you the recipe right here.
You're only born with two fears, the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. The fears that follow come from our ability to anticipate situations that could go wrong or that could be dangerous.
When life doesn't meet your expectations we often refer to this as failure.
When we rack up enough of these experiences we call failure and we realize that "I" is the common denominator you start to wonder "Am I a failure?" And this of course freaks us out.
Some of us already jump to the conclusion that they are indeed a failure, which is sad because they stop trying.
By the time you've gotten to this point you're afraid to put yourself out there, afraid to start that business, afraid to approach that beautiful woman, afraid to change professions, afraid to...
Insert whatever it is you want to do but are too afraid to go for.
Take one of your memories, of one of your worst failures, one of those failures in your life that turns your stomach just to even think about it.
Is it a visual memory? If not, is it auditory?
Don't say it's a kinesthetic memory because it makes you feel bad. That's a different kind of kinesthetic. That's an evaluative/emotional kinesthetic that requires a visual, auditory, proprioceptive, or tactile stimulus.
What are you seeing or hearing that causes this negative feeling?
If it's not visual and it's auditory like a voice perhaps, convert it into a visual memory.
It's much easier to work with visuals.
Watch the movie of what happened in the experience so that you can see yourself in the movie doing whatever it was that went wrong.
Ask yourself what your positive intent was here.
"Positive intent? Damon what do you mean?"
Yes, you had a positive intent. You didn't intend to fail. You didn't intend to upset people. You didn't intend to mess things up.
What was your positive intent?
Once you know that, then ask yourself what resource or resources would you have needed to access within yourself to fulfill that positive intent in this situation?
Examples of inner resources wold be resilience, authenticity, charm, humor, determination, creativity, playfulness, flexibility, adaptability, etc.
Find which one or ones fulfill your positive intent in this situation when you add it or them.
Now re-edit this movie guided by your positive intend and adding in the resource or resources.
What happened?
Usually one of two things happens. Either the events of what happened completely change or the events stay the same but your understanding of what happened changes in such a way that it doesn't feel like failure anymore. It actually turns into a great learning, something you can use in the future if you encounter a situation like this again.
The point of this is not to deceive yourself into thinking your new movie happened rather than the actual movie. However, this new movie becomes a guide for how you want to handle situations like this going forward so make it compelling by making it big, bright, and colorful.
Now for the final step, take the movie of what actually happened and shrink it down so it's small and dark. You can make it black and white or gray. If you ever need to recover this information of what actually happened you can always return to it and find that information.
Now put both movies, the new one and the old one side by side so that the edges are touching. If your mind ever falls on this memory again, the compelling qualities of the new movie will easily grab your attention and focus and guide you toward who you want to be, which is fearless as well as all of the other wonderful qualities you've added to it.
Fear should be gone now, at least for situations like this one.
Like I said this is just a small piece of how you can radically transform yourself and your life that you can learn from my online training Transforming Your Self.
Enrollment closes Saturday so time is running out. Make sure you get in.
If you're still not sure about enrolling, don't worry (or never FEAR). Check out this free webinar so you can learn more about it.
The webinar is only available today and tomorrow. Thursday is the last day to sign up for it and spots are going quickly!
Damon Cart
Life Mastery Teacher & Coach
Santa Cruz, Ca
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Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
