Instant Confidence! What Nearly Everyone Gets Wrong & How To Get It Right
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Throw out nearly everything you think you know about confidence especially what you've heard Self-Help Gurus say about it.
If you would like to attend a free webinar training where I expand more on this topic click here.
Just today I saw a video by someone who you could say is a celebrity in the field of Self-Help talking about how to create instant confidence and he even gives a daily ritual to build confidence.
If you have to pump your confidence up everyday before you walk out the door, it's not real confidence.
If you need a daily ritual to be confident, it's not true confidence.
What he was using, and he even says this in the video, is a lot of Tony Robbins teachings, which are based in NLP.
While I don't disagree with these teachings because they do work to a certain extent, they're not even half of the truth behind confidence.
Sure you can strike power poses and put your physiology in confident postures and scream YES! And it will change your state but you will lose it just as quickly as you created it if you're not rooting it in actual experience.
What is confidence anyway?
How do you know when you're confident?
Think of something you're confident about. Then think of something you're not confident about.
What's the difference?
It feels different, right? But what makes it feel different?
Confidence is a meta state. What do I mean by that?
Confidence is how you feel about something and this is why you can't go at confidence directly like most, if not all, self-help gurus erroneously teach. You have to change the "something" until it evokes a confident feeling.
This is easier than you think and it will take less time than it takes to do a daily ritual.
Most people think confidence and self-esteem is hard to create and I agree that it's nearly impossible to create it by going at it directly.
What other way is there?
Can you drive a car? Most of us can. Do you need to pump up your confidence to drive your car before you drive it? What about in order to drive it well?
No, of course not. You just get in your car and you don't even think about confidence. You don't second guess or doubt your ability.
Why? Because you have lots of experience doing it. This is real confidence.
When you first started driving you lacked confidence and this was a good thing because it made you careful and cautious. You don't want to be confident about doing things that you have little or no experience doing.
If you've only flown a plane once and you do one of these confidence rituals and you feel super confident about flying a plane you're likely to get yourself hurt and possibly hurt others as well.
Your lack of confidence is usually an indication that you don't have enough experience or skill to do something well. This is a good thing for reasons I've already mentioned and as feedback so that you can work at whatever it is you want to be good at in order to get better.
If you're not confident about public speaking, check in with your experiences of public speaking. Perhaps you've only done it a few times. That just means you need more experience, but it doesn't mean you need to throw yourself to the wolves by volunteering to do presentations at work. Eventually you could do that.
But start easy by going to something like Toastmasters where you can practice giving public speeches with a supportive group of people who are looking to improve their public speaking skills as well.
That's what I did.
I used to be very shaky when it came to presenting anything to a group. I went to Toastmasters and did several speeches until I felt confident doing it and now it's something I do for a living.
There's nothing worse than strutting around with fake confidence and not being able to back it up. Unfortunately though I see this so often in self-help circles.
Nothing can replace experience and knowledge.
If you've been driving a car for years your body has acquired the knowledge to steer, accelerate, and stop a car with ease. You cannot replace years of cultivating skill and knowledge through experience with a ritual.
But what if you do have lots of experience and skill doing something like say playing the piano, but you lack confidence?
Now we have an opportunity to do some good work here.
What's happening is that you're not coding your experiences correctly or you're not accessing your experiences at all of being able to play the piano well.
I go into this more in the video above.
However, if you want a full breakdown on how all of this works and how you can indeed create greater confidence and self-esteem instantly, real confidence and self-esteem that lasts, schedule your spot in the free webinar that takes place next week.
Spots are going fast and once they're full, they're full, and I don't know when I'll be putting this webinar out there again.
If you have any questions, feel free to respond to this email.
Damon Cart
Life Mastery Teacher & Coach
Santa Cruz, CA
Damon Cart
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Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
