Is Self Sabotage & Resentment Holding You Back?
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Oct 16, 2018
Content
Author
Do you feel envious of the success of others? Do you look at what other people have and sometimes think that they don't deserve it?
These are good clues to recognize because they point at a limitation that could be holding you back.
More on that in a moment.
When you were growing up you were taught right from wrong, but it got more complex than that. Your parents and your environment programmed into you a way of looking at the world in terms of deserving and not deserving.
But the world is different from place to place and the world changes especially with the rapid advances in technology.
So the rules are changing.
Of course we have ethics and morals and for the most part those don't change. Morals like not hurting and taking advantage of others are universal and will never change.
Nearly everything else though is subject to evolving so you too must change.
You might not think it's fair that you work 50 hours a week while an online entrepreneur only works 4 hours a week and makes more money than you while traveling the world, for example.
But feeling this way only limits you and cuts you off from what's possible in your life and keeps you in a state of scarcity.
Instead of believing that the "rules" you were taught or right, try questioning those rules. Otherwise you're going to become bitter from watching others break the rules and live happy, successful lives. You'll never fulfill your potential this way.
There's a better way to focus your energy and attention.
If you find yourself resenting someone else for what they have or what they've accomplished because you feel like they don't deserve it, even if you're right, thinking this way is not going to help you.
This type of thinking will hold you back because you're investing energy into an emotion and into a belief and a direction that will never give you what you want.
It will only give you lack and scarcity.
Give up the idea of deserving and not deserving especially when it comes to what you think other people deserve and don't deserve.
Instead of focusing on what others shouldn't have, recognize that it's time for you to change.
Most people, however, will cling to these limiting beliefs for comfort. They will tell themselves things like "This was the way I was raised" and "That's the way I believe" as if there's something sacred about the way you were raised or about your beliefs.
All of these are programs that were created and they can be undone.
Hiding within the confines of limiting beliefs and antiquated ways of thinking may bring you temporary comfort but long term, a life not lived up to its potential is a life filled with suffering.
Check out where you are right now. Have you been doing the same thing, operating within the same beliefs, within the same limitations for several years now and not getting anywhere?
One way to know this is if you find yourself resenting others, the people who don't follow those same beliefs, the people who don't follow your rules and those same limitations you've imposed on yourself.
This is a clear sign it's time to change.
Look at people who are getting what they want, who are being successful and fulfilled. What are they doing? Turn your resentment into attending to that.
The key is intervention. Intervene when you're feeling resentment. Stop that program from enslaving you.
This can only happen when you get very honest with yourself. Most people can't admit when they feel jealous or envious so they push it away and it becomes unconscious.
You can't do an intervention for something that is unconscious.
This is what makes NLP so powerful. Use NLP to be aware of your state and use NLP processes and techniques to intervene and transform the program. Only when you're aware of a program can you intervene and change it.
The first step is to recognize when you're resenting someone else because you feel like they don't deserve something you want.
Then ask yourself what inner resource is missing?
Resentment is an indication of being too externally focused and comparing yourself to others.
You're not them. You can only live your life.
Look inward. What resource would put you back into a state of wholeness?
A good way to uncover this is to realize what you would like to experience rather than resentment. What is the opposite of resentment for you?
Perhaps abundance? Abundance may not be it for you but it's often what's missing when we're in a scarcity state.
Plug in the resource and change your state. When that happens, your life will change.
Don't wait for the world and everyone in it to come around to your rules. It's never going to happen. You will wait forever and it will be painful.
Change.
Change is only painful when you resist it.
Stop sabotaging yourself and wasting energy resenting and start using it to create what you want.
Damon Cart
NLP Coach and Trainer
Ha Long Bay, Vietnam
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
