NLP - How to get what you want
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Mar 16, 2018
Tags
General tips
Content
Author
When I took my first NLP training, one of the first things Robert Dilts said to us in the orientation was "If you don't want anything, NLP can't help you."
NLP is based on getting what you want. How do you get from here to there, present state to desired sate?
"But I don't want a state. I want a new car. I want more money. I want a big house." You might be saying.
Well, actually you want the state or the experience you believe those things will make you feel.
Maybe you'll get them and maybe you won't, but the state or the experience is already yours to have. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be able to project a desirable experience onto these objects.
You have to have experienced the state in order to project it.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
The number one reason people don't get what they want is because they don't really know what they want.
Ask yourself what do you want?
Do you first think about what you don't want? Do you think about the things you should want that your parents, society, or your culture thinks everyone should want like world peace, to be a doctor or a lawyer, or to have 2.2 kids and a home with a white picket fence?
Conscious awareness makes up about 20% of your mind and your unconscious makes up about 80%.
Your conscious mind is very good at separating what you think is good from what you think is bad. It's very good at keeping at the top of your mind the things you don't want so you can avoid them. Consciously you can be very good at avoiding those things.
But if you don't have a focus for what you do want you have no vision for the life you want going forward and this is why you're not getting there. You're playing defense in life rather than playing offense. How are you going to move the ball down the field?
Most people lack clarity about what they want. They think they know what they want but they're so concerned about making a mistake that they convince themselves that they're still gathering data before they take action.
Another word for this is procrastination.
The amount of sensory data you can gather about anything is severely limited if you're not taking action.
When you take action, when you take a step toward what you want, when you put yourself out there you will risk making mistakes and not getting what you want. You also risk being disappointed if you do get what you want and it's not what you expected.
Though it might not feel good, this is the wonderful process of gathering real, experiential data. You are on the path to getting what you want if, and only if, you stay on the path.
As you experiment, as you fail and suffer disappointment, you will likely change your mind about what you want. You will better understand what fulfills you, makes you happy and gives you satisfaction.
The arbitrary goal of making $10,000 more a year will turn into a well thought out and clear goal to make $10,000 so you can invest it and travel the world for example.
Or maybe you realize you only wanted to make $10,000 more a year because others would think highly of you if so it wasn't really your true desire and now you can drop it and focus on what you truly want.
Nothing can take the place of practice and taking action. Are you practicing getting what you want? Are you taking action toward getting what you want?
While consciously you can avoid what you don't want, your unconscious doesn't know the difference. Your unconscious will naturally gravitate to clarity instead of chaos so if you're more clear about what you don't want, know that your unconscious will create more of it.
If you're focused on what you don't want because you've experienced it and you've got plenty of clarity about it, your unconscious will move in that direction, the direction of the light, unless you have even more clarity about what you do want and you focus on what you want instead.
Not only does NLP help you get clear about what you do want and helps you create a well formed outcome and a vision of where you truly want to go based on your values, it also helps you overcome unconscious obstacles that may be tripping you up.
No such thing as failure, only feedback. Your feedback is welcome. Message me on Facebook, or comment on Youtube.
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
