NLP Identity Change
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Jan 02, 2017
Tags
General tips
Content
Author
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Is it possible to change at the identity level. If so, what effects does such a deep change have on the rest of your life? I was working with a client the other day and I was listening to her tell me how she wanted to feel different about her life. Her life is actually really good. She has a great career and a loving and supportive family and yet something feels missing and unfulfilled. We spent most of the session moving her pictures around and modeling happy experiences and mapping them across to areas of her life where she was unhappy, but nothing was working. I took it deeper and elicited her values and elicited whether or not she embodied these values as qualities of her identity. I helped her build some in and tune things up and still she didn't feel any different. Suddenly it dawned on me, she didn't know if she wanted to change even if it meant being happier. This is exactly what I had faced when I attended my first NLP Master Practitioner training. I reached that threshold where going any further meant things were going to change, my life would have to change and I didn't know what that would be like. Deep down I knew that if I crossed that line there was no going back. It was scary, but I had reached a point where something had to be different. I knew I wasn't as happy as I could be and I knew I wasn't living my potential and I knew I wanted both more than anything. I stepped over that threshold and haven't looked back sense. Did my life change? You bet it did! Am I happy now and do I feel like I'm living my potential? You bet I am! Did unpleasant and negative things happen as well? Sure it did because life isn't perfect and we can't have everything we want and none of what we don't want. It just doesn't work that way. "What you're feeling," I said to my client "is your potential beckoning. Something in you knows you can be happier and more fulfilled and yet there's another part of you that is afraid to leave the safety of your current state even if it means you're unhappy staying there. "It's time to make a decision. Either you decide right now that you're going to be happy and fulfill your potential and you will do whatever it takes or decide that you would rather play it safe and stay exactly as you are and live with that. "It's not my place to tell you what choice to make and I can't want your happiness for you more than you want it. But I don't think you hired me to help you stay exactly the same. You hired me to help you change so figure out what you want because otherwise these coaching sessions are just a waste of time and money." Identity level change can be scary because you don't know exactly how, when you change at the core, that will affect relationships, major life contexts, and your sense of self. Identity level change is a fundamental re-categorization of your life experiences, which creates a change in the most powerful generalization you've been creating your entire life, your identity. If you've been a people pleaser your whole life, get ready to disappoint people when you take your life back and start living for yourself. That might seem selfish but it's not. Living for you is the best you can do for others. If you're unhappy or you know you could be happier, if you know you're not fulfilling your potential, it's time to get real with yourself and make a decision. Do you want to change or do you want to stay the same? There's no right or wrong. There is only what you want.
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
