Reframing Success & Failure & Crushing It
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Oct 31, 2018
Tags
General tips
Content
Author
Success and failure are not what you think they are.
They're not things as their noun form presupposes.
Success and failure are processes or happenings. They're either happening or they are not happening, which makes them actions instead of things.
You can't grab a handful of success and put it in your pocket and pull it out later, in other words.
In language, when we take a process or verb and turn it into a noun it's called a nominalization in NLP. The effect it has is making the activity seem solid, frozen, or static in your experience.
Try this out. Think of success and failure. Notice how it feels in your body when you think of each word.
Now think of succeeding and failing. How is it different than success and failure?
Succeeding and failing are verbs. They're active. They have movement. They're not static, which means they also have a direction. It's a lot easier to move something in the direction you want it to go when it's already moving rather than trying to move a static object.
What else is important to understand about success and failure is that they're not two processes. They're one process, two parts of one process.
Thinking of them as two processes can feel like you're being pulled apart. Sometimes you're succeeding and sometimes you're failing as if the two are fighting with each other. This is not helping you.
You've probably heard that in baseball the players who hit the most home runs also strike out the most. I don't know if that is true but it's a great example of how failing and succeeding work together.
If you're never failing it's probably because you're not trying hard enough.
My brothers used to complain that I always got what I wanted from my parents, which wasn't true. Sure I got to do a lot but it was because I asked a lot and I probably got turned down more than either of my brothers as well.
The same can be applied to life. Ask a lot from life and know you're not going to get everything you ask for, but if you don't ask and you're not willing to work for it, you're definitely not going to get it.
If succeeding and failing are two parts of one process, what is the process serving?
If you're doing it right it should be serving your overall vision for your life.
Succeeding for the sake of success is empty and shortsighted. What do you want your successes and failures to do for you?
This is where you can really change your life and crush it.
Humans are meaning making machines. When you have an overall vision for your life based on what you value most and you connect that with the successes you want to accomplish and even with your failures, your life will change.
Failing won't discourage you anymore because it's just part of the process leading you toward your vision.
Without this piece succeeding can feel daunting and unreachable. Without this piece, even if you succeed, you will likely feel empty because you won't have a deeper sense of meaning and purpose for the success.
When you connect a greater, overall vision for your life with your successes and failures, you will become unstoppable.
Give it a try.
Damon Cart
NLP Coach and Trainer
Santa Cruz, CA
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
