Self Confidence & Authenticity, What You Need To Know - NLP Coaching & Training
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Nov 24, 2018
Content
Author
If you haven't gotten your hands on the free webinar yet, 3 Things Wrong With NLP Trainings & How To Overcome Them with 1 Simple Solution, take advantage of it while it's available.
It will be around for less than two weeks before I pull it.
What does self-confidence and authenticity have to do with each other; other than most people having unrealistic ideas about what they mean?
More on this in a moment.
People often think that being authentic means you reveal to people everything or mostly everything about your life.
And people often think of confidence as the flashy, crafty salesperson who says all the right things at the right times and struts around like they own the earth.
Not only are both of these ideas not true, they're really bad ideas. You don't want to be like this.
Think about if James Bond was a real person and you met him. He would actually seem a bit ridiculous. That kind of "confidence" works in the movies but not in real life.
The same for the crafty salesperson. You wouldn't trust them so they would be terrible at sales.
Acting this way is not true confidence and it's not authentic.
When it comes to authenticity you're never not yourself. We often say "I wasn't being myself" when you do something out of character for you or when you do something that goes against your values.
Being yourself means you're congruent with your values. Your behavior aligns with what you say and what you say and how you behave aligns with your values.
However, when you're out of alignment, you're still you and you always will be. When you violate your values you're still here. You didn't go anywhere.
Why is this important to know?
Because when you own this- when you own that even when you do something that feels inauthentic, you're still you- you take a big step into becoming even more authentic.
Do you like stories?
Most people do because story is how we make sense of life, not logic.
If you want to hear a story about how I coached a friend of mine who was struggling with a dilemma about being authentic and being true to her vision, watch the video I created on this topic.
Here's what you need to know. When your behavior aligns with your values your confidence and self-esteem goes up.
When your behavior is not in alignment with your values, your self-esteem and confidence goes down. Instead of getting down on yourself when this happens, know that this is what's happening and realign your behavior to match your values.
How do you do this? It's very easy. You just need to know what your values are and you can find a few videos about how to elicit your values on my Youtube channel.
So often I see in NLP and other self-help sources people trying to manufacture confidence by pumping up your state. Not only does this not last, it's fake confidence and can get you into trouble.
For example, after taking one class on how to fly a plane, you don't want to try to pump up your confidence to fly over the Pacific Ocean. You lack the skill and knowledge and overall experience to do this.
The good news is that not only does your self-esteem and confidence grow the more your actions align with your values, you also become more authentic! The two work together.
No matter where you go, no matter where you find yourself, and no matter who you're around, you can always be confident about you.
The more you know yourself and the more you align with your values, the more solid you become about who you are.
It doesn't get much better than this!
Damon Cart
NLP Coach and Trainer
Santa Cruz, CA
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
