Self-Discipline & Motivation: What Nearly Everyone Gets Wrong
Nov 19, 2018
Change the way you think about self-discipline and motivation if you would like to tap into an unlimited supply of both.
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Does it seem like motivation and self-discipline comes and goes and goes more than it comes?
People come to me for coaching saying "I need more self-discipline and I need more motivation." And I ask them, Do you brush your teeth everyday, two to three times a day?
"Of course I do," they reply.
How do you get the motivation and self-discipline to do that for so many years I ask them. They often look stumped because it doesn't seem like it takes motivation and discipline to brush your teeth everyday of your life and that's why you're able to do it.
Most people think of motivation and self-discipline as those times when you're energized, focused, and pumped up, but that's not really true discipline and motivation. Those are just passing states.
In other words, they're temporary and will not last, but people think that's what it is and they try to chase that state and hold onto it, which never works.
So how is it that you're able to be so motivated and disciplined when it comes to brushing your teeth and can you apply it to anything you want to do consistently?
Yes to the second part of that question.
When you first started brushing your teeth you did it because you were told to by your parents most likely. If you didn't you had to face whatever consequences they imposed on you. This was your first motivation for doing it.
Later on, probably in your early teens you became self-conscious and that included worrying about the smell of your breath and your teeth looking yellow.
Eventually, you also acquired the foresight to realize you want to keep your teeth for as long as you can and that requires keeping them clean.
At some point, you made a decision to brush daily for all of the reasons stated above. You decided to do it for yourself, not just to please your parents.
You also had a clear strategy for having good breath, white teeth, and keeping them from falling out, brushing them of course.
So you made a decision and you had a strategy that worked and eventually all of this slipped into unconsciousness and ever since you've brushed your teeth everyday, multiple times a day without having to negotiate with yourself about it.
And even when you forget or fall asleep on the couch without brushing at night, you don't beat yourself up about it the next day. You just brush your teeth when you wake up. No big deal.
You can absolutely apply this to anything in your life that you want to be more motivated and disciplined to do.
Follow the same pattern. Decide you're going to do or accomplish whatever it is you want. Find a strategy that works. This might require some testing depending on what it is you want.
Maybe you want to save money or make more money. Maybe you want to lose weight and be healthier. Decide you want to do this. Create a strategy and commit to the habits it will take to execute your strategy. Then let it slip into unconsciousness.
"Wait!" You might say, "It's not that easy."
Perhaps that's true. What makes it not easy?
Resistance of course.
But instead of trying to overcome resistance or ignoring it, you're going to see resistance as a messenger trying to inform you that in pursuit of your goal you may overlook something else of value.
Change the way you think about resistance.
Resistance is not some part of you trying to stop you from having what you want.
Resistance is just another part of you with a positive intent with the goal of fulfilling another one of your values.
Get clear about this and integrate the resistance into your overall vision. You can do this by employing any of the NLP conflict integration processes.
NLP Coach and Trainer
Santa Cruz, CA
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create one’s experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.