Transformation: Unlock Your Potential Part 2
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Jan 16, 2019
Content
Author
After reading the last blog I wrote and watching the video that went with it, assuming that you have, you may be wondering "How do I change and transform?" and "How do I find my purpose?"
If you're asking those questions you're in a great place to continue with where this is going.
If not, you probably haven't read the last blog or watched the video. I suggest you do that before moving on.
Think about peak experiences you've had in your life and don't limit it to just moments.
Maybe you had a period in your life that lasted weeks, months, or even years when you felt like you were "firing on all cylinders", as one of my clients reported back to me after he had a major transformation during a coaching session.
The experiences and periods in your life that you're looking for here are the ones when you felt truly fulfilled.
Some of you may be thinking of more exciting and fun experiences or even mystical type experiences induced by hallucinogenics. These are not the type of experiences I'm referring to.
Nothing wrong with those experiences. They're valid, but for what we want to work with you want to find those more grounded experiences when you felt fulfilled and validated from within and at the same time you felt validated externally by giving value to others and contributing to something bigger than yourself.
There are times when people have validated you by acknowledging the value you offer and that's a great feeling.
But that can happen and you still feel empty inside or you feel a bit insecure because if you're seeking outside validation to fully validate yourself, you're always dependent on the whims of others. Since you don't control other people your self worth will be at their mercy if you continue to seek validation this way. I don't recommend this.
It's better to focus first on validating yourself and meeting your needs. You're the authority of you and no matter what happens you are connected to your own value therefore you don't need external validation.
But if you only stay in this bubble and you don't connect with others and contribute to something greater than yourself, you will feel isolated and lonely and that's not good either.
So the experiences you're looking for are experiences when you had both inside validation, which you know because you felt satisfied and fulfilled, and when you were also feeling appreciated by others because you were contributing value to them.
You may be thinking, "I've never had an experience like that."
Not true.
Just to want these experiences means you must have at least tasted them.
I've never met anyone who didn't want to be happy and fulfilled and appreciated by others, that should be evidence to you that you've experienced this. Why else would you desire these experiences?
Take some time to find these experiences. Believe me it's worth doing this for yourself. I always recommend writing as a way to explore experience so grab a pen and some paper and find them.
Come up with no fewer than three. Even better if you come up with 4 or 5.
Once you have 3 to 5 of these experiences, unpack them.
What do I mean?
Explore what was happening in those experiences that made you feel fulfilled, validated, and appreciated by others? When you remember them, what do you see, hear, and feel?
For example maybe you were running a marathon and you were doing better than expected. Your body felt good as one foot hit the pavement after the other and you could see and hear people cheering you on.
Or maybe you were starting a business or you took your family on a vacation. What was it that met your needs in these experiences and also made you feel appreciated?
Once you unpack these experiences, ask yourself what was important to you about the aspects of these experiences that fulfilled you. What do you value about these experiences?
Go deep with this. Keep asking the same question every time you come up with an answer, "What is important about..." whatever the answer is that you came up with.
You should easily be able to come up with 3 to 5 values for each experience. Your values probably won't be the same for each experience but you will probably see some overlap. That's fine of course. It's actually an indication that these are core values for you.
The more clear you become about what these experiences mean to you, what you value about them, and how they happened the more you will understand that these are great clues about where you want to take your life.
It's already been tested. You know what experiences really do it for you.
It's unfortunate that most people don't pursue these experiences going forward. So many people don't realize that these experiences or indications of the life they're meant to live going forward.
Most people just think of these peak experiences as something great that happened in their life and nothing more. They get bogged down in focusing on paying bills, what time they're going to have lunch, or what they're favorite sports team is doing.
Creating a vision using the values you discover from your peak experiences should be front and center if you want to live an amazing life.
I'm not saying those other things aren't important. I'm just saying if you desire ultimate fulfillment then creating the ultimate life you want to live should be your focus. If it's not then don't be surprised if you're not getting what you want out of life.
This is a choice and I'm not saying one is right or wrong. Choose what's right for you.
All of the clues, all of the directions, all of the resources for how to live the life that you want to live has been right there with you all along.
So why don't more people pursue it?
Because they're still thinking they're going to find what they want from outside validation by others and this keeps them in limitation and suffering.
More to come in the final part of this series. Stay tuned...
Damon Cart
Life Mastery Teacher & Coach
Santa Cruz, CA
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
