Transforming Suffering Into Peace & Happiness To Drive Your Success
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Would it surprise you if I told you that I suffer nearly every day?
Are you surprised more because your idea of me is of someone who has resolved suffering and solved my problems because I help others do exactly that? Or is it surprising because I'm willing to admit that I do suffer?
Before I get into this I want to let you know I'm in the beginning stages of working on a book and I would like your input. Please answer these three questions here to help me write a book that will help you.
While I think there probably are people who don't suffer, people who are just naturally happy and don't carry around painful feelings, I think the majority of us suffer to some degree.
I also think that most people in my line of work suffer a lot though they often portray themselves as having solved all of their problems and portray themselves as being purely happy with no suffering.
There's a reason we do what we do and for people in personal development and self improvement, we often turn to this field for answers.
Now I'm not saying I'm not happy. I'm the happiest I've ever been and I seem to keep getting happier as I get older.
You can be happy and suffer at the same time.
What? How is that possible?
Have you ever met someone who suffers from chronic, physical pain and yet they don't let that stop them from being happy?
I know I have. These people inspire us, don't they?
Emotional suffering is no different.
When we identify with our pain it makes it even more real. You become the pain and so you take it wherever you go.
You don't have to do this. We tend though to focus on pain, which blocks out everything else. More on that in a moment.
Sometimes I wake up to feelings of anger, impatience, jealousy, sadness, etc. It's just there. And sometimes I wake up just fine and later encounter suffering.
Now I used to think this meant I was broken, inadequate, mentally messed up and all of the other things we tell ourselves when we don't feel good about us. This was me identifying with my suffering.
Well you're not broken nor inadequate nor messed up in the head just because you suffer.
I know because I've been suffering for a long time and none of these things proved true.
I've felt this suffering since I was a teenager and I've tried many ways to get rid of it including self-medicating as well as spiritual practices and other healthy practices.
They all worked to some degree (except self-medicating) but nothing has been a panacea.
Learning NLP was what has helped most in managing the suffering and through using NLP I've learned how to be happy despite it.
Over the years it has gotten easier to transform suffering. I use suffering to drive me. I use it to create the opposite of suffering.
You could say that excitement uses more energy than suffering and while that's probably true, the energy of excitement builds on itself and inspires more energy.
The energy it takes to suffer though drains you and brings you down so it can be difficult at first to transform it and use it to drive you especially if you don't know how.
This is usually a good time to get fed up with not feeling the way you want to feel. This is the time to say enough is enough and do something about it.
You have a choice about suffering. Always remember that. This doesn't mean you can simply choose not to suffer and it will go away, but you can make choices about your suffering that will change it and allow you to be happy.
You can wait around for suffering to pass and it usually does but it will likely take a long time and I'm impatient remember.
Most of the men and women I admire all have one thing in common. They all suffered but they used their suffering to create beauty. We see this a lot when artists express their creativity.
You don't have to be an artist to do this. You can use suffering to create and you can use it to play tennis or work on a car. It doesn't matter what you use it to do. As long as you engage it, you can transform it.
The first step to transforming your suffering is to first accept it. Most of us don't accept our suffering. We try to get rid of it or push it away. This creates a shadow. When your suffering is unconscious it will influence and control your feelings and behavior in ways that you don't understand and can't get control of.
Make friends with your suffering. Accept it. You can even ask it what its positive intent is. It might answer. Mine does sometimes.
Once you've fully accepted your suffering, you will feel some relief. It will give you distance from it. Remember this doesn't mean to disconnect from it. Stay connected to it.
Now observe the other feelings you're feeling. When you're focused on your suffering, suffering is all you can feel. When you accept your suffering and you allow yourself to feel the other feelings that or there, it puts suffering into perspective.
From here you can decide what you want to do with it.
Ask yourself how you can use that suffering to engage in life and transform it into something that you enjoy.
It's easier than most people think.
Tell me about how you've suffered and what you've done to overcome it or if you haven't overcome it, what are you doing now to manage it?
Next week I will be doing a three part blog/video series on transforming not just feelings but other aspects of the self so let me know what has been your experience.
Damon Cart
Life Mastery Teacher & Coach
Santa Cruz, CA
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
