What's Better Than Being Depressed?
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Apr 20, 2018
Tags
General tips
Content
Author
I know it's a strange question.
What's better than being depressed? Almost anything you're probably thinking.
But if you've ever been depressed you know that it's full of feeling hopeless and helpless; hopeless that there's anything you can do to feel better and helpless for the same reason.
You don't have to have ever been full on depressed to know what it's like to feel beaten down.
It feels like you have no energy, no will, no motivation; plagued by indifference and apathy. It's not so much that you don't care, you have no care to give because nothing seems to matter.
We've all been there to various extents. Everyone has experienced levels of this poison.
Have I painted the picture?
Good, let's move onto what's better.
Why can't we just pop right out of depression and start feeling good again?
It's certainly possible. The first time I was depressed, a skilled NLP practitioner guided me to a normal state of wellbeing in one session, which solidified my belief in the usefulness of NLP.
But that's more rare than common.
However, there is a way to wake up quickly from a down state.
I was coaching one of my clients this past week (only our second session) and she starts off by telling me she's in a depression.
After helping her unpack that nominalization it became clear that she had buried something long ago and it was time to revisit it.
She started to resist. After some reframing we started to proceed again, but more resistance came up. She tried to put off going back there and I started to understand why. There was more than just sadness and hurt.
Unfortunately we live in a culture and a society that tells us that it's wrong to get mad and it's bad to be angry. But anger is a great wake up call. Sometimes anger is the alarm clock that screams at you demanding that you change something.
She had been carrying this pain since she was a child and on top of it she believed she shouldn't be angry about it.
I even encounter this in self-help workshops. People think that if you get angry then you must not be at peace or you must not be enlightened so "don't do that".
But pushing any feelings away, even anger, only disconnects you from yourself and can make feeling down even worse.
She started to get angry before she even realized it and I knew she just needed a little push.
I told her to go access love within herself and bring it back into this memory.
"Let's do this next session," she said.
"You came to me for help. How long are you going to put this off? Now go!" I said.
"You can't just expect me to feel love in this situation. What the hell?"
"You're angry aren't you!"
"Yes! I am!"
"Good. Then be angry. It's better than being depressed. Now what are you going to do?"
She hesitated until finally she let herself be angry and that's when everything shifted.
I helped guide her to express the anger, the anger that she had been suppressing since she was a child.
Anger is often something we push away. When a person is depressed and also feels like they're not allowed to be angry, they just sink even deeper.
Anger as a call to action can be very healthy and can actually lift you out of a crashed state as long as you don't dwell on it.
If you try to hold onto anger; and it might be tempting to do that because the rush of energy feels good, it will turn into bitterness and that won't serve you.
Sometimes it's appropriate to be angry especially when someone mistreats you or you witness an injustice. Sometimes anger is the messenger telling you something isn't right and you need to do something about it.
Anger can be used well and it can be misused so be careful with it.
Later, after our session I received an email from her letting me know that she had just made a huge step in overcoming a limiting belief that had held her back from getting what she wants.
Limiting beliefs are often held in place by deep-rooted, painful feelings that we've suppressed.
We do this because we want to be "over it" or we want to put it behind us and yet we don't let it go. In order to suppress it we have to create the illusion of isolating it from the rest of who we believe ourselves to be. But when you isolate parts of yourself you will suffer. You will feel less whole and unfulfilled.
Anger is not bad. The only thing that can be judged good or bad is what you do with anger.
Think of anger as a gift. What will you do with the gift? Ignore it or use it to transform yourself into someone better than you were before you got angry?
Depression isn't necessarily caused by suppressed anger. It can be caused though by not wanting to feel painful emotions so we retract ourselves and pull away from life. Unfortunately anger often gets put in that category of painful feelings we don't want to feel.
For me overcoming depression was about allowing myself to feel, allowing myself to feel the bad feelings and the good feelings.
When you allow yourself to feel anger, you can ride it out of a down state and into an awakened state.
From there you can let it go, reengage with life, and get on your way to being happy again.
! No such thing as failure, only feedback. Your feedback is welcome. Message me on Facebook, or comment on Youtube.
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
