Work Too Hard Or Too Little & Training People To Treat You Well
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Jan 20, 2017
Tags
General tips
Content
Author
For Video Link: CLICK HERE! Work Too Hard Or Too Little - NLP Mind Hack Do you feel like you're working to hard and at the same time it's never enough? Hard work is an ingredient to success but it's not the key to success. If hard work made people successful, most people who live in poverty should be the richest people in the world. If you don't live in poverty and you feel overworked and especially if you're self-employed or you own a business and you're working long and hard it's probably unnecessary. I was chatting with a friend today who also owns a business and I was telling him about the struggles I'm having in one of my businesses and even some doubts even though I know I'm going to make it work. I've done it before. "It's in me and I'm not afraid of hard work." "Yeah, but how hard did you really have to work to get to where you are?" He said. At first I wanted to tell him just how hard I had worked; the late nights, the cold calling, all the appointments, the stress, the sleepless nights, but he knew how hard I had worked. He has the same kind of business and we were both building our businesses at the same time. He meant something different. What he called to my attention is all the "hard work" that I did because I felt like I had to work hard when the reality was a lot of it wasn't producing relevant results. I worked hard in order to convince myself I was doing all that I could. I worked hard because I was taught to value hard work since I was a kid, not necessarily to value results. Hard work creates success, right? Not necessarily. Sometimes success requires that you work hard, but it also depends on how you define success. What if success to you is making $500,000 a year and you achieve it, but you're working 80 hours a week, you rarely see family and friends, you're overweight and you have high blood pressure? That's not success to me and I hope it's not to you either. If you're like me you overthink and stress out about things only to discover that it's never as bad as it seems. You create more work for yourself than necessary. You work long and hard because you believe you have to in order to succeed. Take a moment to think about two or three of your greatest achievements. How hard did you work for them? Go back over one of them and look at what it took to achieve it from start to finish and ask yourself what could you have left out and still succeeded? For me I could have left out a lot late nights in the office after regular work hours. Sure I caught up on paperwork but the real reason I was there was because I thought I was supposed to do this for at least my first two years in business. Did it help me succeed? No, not really. I could have been home with my family recharging so I could have had a more productive day the next day. And don't even get me started on the money I spent investing in my business. About a third of it was unnecessary, but I did it anyway because I thought that's what I was supposed to do to be successful. Spend money to make money, right? Not always. Really get clear about what made you successful in whatever you've already achieved while cutting out all of the work that was unnecessary. What understandings and insights do you now have about what you've achieved? Apply that to your current situation and stop working so hard. Put that time, effort, and energy to more productive use or go spend it with family and friends.
For Video Link: CLICK HERE! How To Train People To Treat You Well Don't like the way certain people treat you? What can you do about it? Think of one person in particular who treats you in a way you don't like. Ask yourself what is that you're doing that communicates that it's okay for them to treat you that way? This is not about blaming yourself. This is about taking radical responsibility. You can argue up and down that it's their fault and it's not right for them to treat you the way they treat you and you may be absolutely right, but unfortunately that thinking is not likely going to change the situation. When you change your communication enough the people or person you're communicating to will have to respond differently. Think of the way people treat you now as the way you've trained them to treat you. If you tolerate people not treating you well they will continue to not treat you well. Why would they change? Some people do treat you well. What is different about the way you feel with these people? What is different about the way you communicate with them than when you're communicating with someone who doesn't treat you well? Get very clear about how you want to be treated by the person who doesn't treat you well and make a statement about it. Say it out loud. "I want you to treat me with more respect." Get specific about how you want to be treated. If you want more respect, what is your criteria for respect? How would you know it if the person was treating you with respect? What would you see or hear when you're dealing with them? It's so important that you make clear statements about how you want to be treated and that you say these things out loud. Get clear on the ways it's not okay for him or her to treat you. Get clear on the ways it's not okay for anyone to treat you. Again, make a statement and say it out loud. For example, "It's not okay for you to raise your voice at me." And then have a statement ready of how you would prefer to be treated. "It's not okay for you to raise your voice at me. I'm right here. I can hear you just fine. I prefer that you lower your voice when you talk to me." When you make these statements really feel them. Know that you have drawn your lines. You are very clear about the ways in which you won't be treated and the ways in which you expect to be treated. When you practice this and you begin to feel it, a funny thing happens. People and the person in particular who doesn't treat you well often will start treating you differently without you having to say anything to them. This won't always be the case though and sometimes you will have to speak up, which is okay because you've you know what's okay and what's not okay. You're very clear about this and you have statements ready to use. You don't need to be confrontational. You don't need to raise your voice. Just simply tell the person what's okay and what's not okay and feel it. Know it.
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
